


Will

by frick



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Determination, Gen, Hope, SAVEfic, Stuff, help me, i mean you, making it the good times, resolve, sans speaks in all lowercase, sans throws a tanty, saving asriel, tags kind of ruin a multichapter experience don't you agree, the one guy reading these
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 15:20:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5830561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frick/pseuds/frick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a SAVEfic. You know the drill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Will

** 1

That same ringing. Exhaustion wrapped Frisk like a blanket, and deja vu peppered the air as she blinked the stars out of her eyes. A familiar sight. The daze made this feel like a memory, like something you'd think of while trying to drift to sleep.

"Frisk! This is all just a bad dream...! Please, just-"

"...wake up." Frisk felt the unrelenting cold concrete through her sweater. "...The gang's all here. Are you guys okay?" A couple of hesitant steps. The group was all together. Like always. There was still someone left to save. 

"don't think we're dead kid. then again, barrier's open," Frisk froze as Sans started speaking. This wasn't how it usually happened. "and there's a little light at the end of the tunnel. seems awfully ominous to me." He gave his signature wink, and Frisk could feel his eyes gazing through him. Mask any surprise. Sans would bite into that instantly. If he finds out how many resets have happened, this attempt would be over quickly.

"My child, we don't exactly... recall what happened. We were all together with you, the twilight filtering through the barrier, and then white. When we woke, you were here, and the barrier wasn't." Frisk didn't need to feign any kind of emotion, this was all new. Alphys, Asgore, Papyrus and Undyne were having their own conversation near the end of the room.

Toriel quickly gained a worried look on her face. "But the barrier is gone! That means you can go home! We can see the sun!" Frisk forced a weary smile. Can't disturb this timeline any more than it already apparently has. Need to get to him. 

"...I'd like to say goodbye before we leave. There's someone I need to talk to. If that's okay with you, Mom."

"Of course. Be good. We will wait to leave until you are ready."

**

The walk through Snowdin and the forest gave Frisk enough time to clear her head. Everything had been done the same. Everything was scripted. Why was this ending different? Could this be the one?

"Perfect" runs generally ended in the same result. Everyone happy and free, living their lives on the surface. Frisk's actions granting them all the lives they wanted. Never resetting more than a year after the barrier broke. That nagging feeling in the back of Frisk's head never left. 

There's still one more.

Asriel said it himself. Frisk would throw herself into death a thousand times in order to achieve that perfect ending. Everyone had to be happy. No stragglers. Given the power to repeat something until everyone is happy. Would others do differently? Is she really stealing the happiness from those who were free, if they wouldn't remember it? If she could give it all back with a flick of the wrist?

Asriel probably didn't have this in mind when he said it.

Frisk wasn't even sure what she'd do after she reached him. The timeline is different, but what if Asriel is the same? They've had this battle thousands of times. Asriel wouldn't leave. Flowey wouldn't ever be seen again. Toriel and Asgore would think their son dead, years in the past, while he suffered by himself in eternal dark. An oroboros of suffering caused by unfortunate events decades past.

If determination was the power to change fate, why couldn't it change this one?

...wait...

**

A sinking feeling entered Frisk's stomach as she spotted the flowers. A lone, large golden flower rose amongst the others in the ray of sunlight. No. Too early. Adrenaline started pumping through Frisk's veins, sprinting towards the beam. "No. No no no."

It was just a regular flower.

What changed...?

"F-Frisk?"

Frisk spun so quickly the room tossed. Approaching the beam was that same small figure. The same weak, false smile. Pleading eyes.

"Asriel. Really scared me for a second there."

"I told you to leave. You deserve to be with them. They deserve the surface. You can't keep doing this. You have your happy ending."

"So you know. About the resets."

"Golly, I m-mean, I knew about your ability. And generally you don't start tearing up over a person you just met. I had it too, you know."

"Something is different this time. Just hear me out."

"Frisk..."

"You don't have a SOUL. Your current form is just the remnants of the SOULs from the other humans and the entire Underground, right?" Frisk was scratching out lines in the dirt with a stick.

"Y-yes but-"

"So underneath all of that energy, it's still you. That giant lump of determination. It can't match mine, but it doesn't have to."

Asriel fell silent. He watched Frisk intently as she pulled out a notebook.

"Alphys dubbed determination as 'the will to keep living' and 'the resolve to change fate'. Did you ever see the amalgams? The true lab? You knew about it, obviously, but have you read the entries?"

"Every book, Frisk. Every page."

"Determination isn't just some thing that is controlled by the high scorer. You can still use it. You don't need to SAVE. You don't need to LOAD. You can stay determined. You can use the determination you have to keep yourself from falling back into Flowey."

Asriel had shifted his gaze towards the flower in the middle of the room. "E-even if that works, how can I maintain that? I don't deserve to be with them again. Not after everything I've done. How can I be determined to keep something I don't deserve?"

Frustration wracked Frisk's thoughts. "Sometimes we do bad things. Things we regret. Things we think... we'll never be forgiven for. Humans deal with this feeling. It's a part of life. Maybe it's determination. But you're chock full of the stuff, so that's a poor excuse, isn't it?"

"You... don't talk like a person your age, Frisk."

"I've been at this for a long time, Az." 

A flicker of emotion danced across Asriel's face. "They don't deserve that either. You can't take their futures away from them for one person."

"You could easily stop me."

"It can't be that simple. Do you know how long I've been a flower? Do you think I haven't tried thinking 'Golly, I wish I was a person again. I wish I could feel things again! Wouldn't that be swell!'? Do you honestly think I can make my problems go away with just some positive emotion?"

Frisk stared at the goat blankly. "You haven't had positive emotion before now. Couldn't hurt to try, right?" The frustration had been transferred. Asriel struggled inside himself.

"How long have you gone after... this, before resetting?"

"A year, max. This last reset was on the anniversary of the barrier breaking. I tried to climb down and see if you were still around. Couldn't find any sign of you or Flowey. Dad's garden overtook most of the underground after it was abandoned."

Frisk was glad she could actually have meaningful conversation with someone. Acting your age is difficult, given her circumstances. Her and Asriel had mostly the same experiences. They had a bond no one else could truly understand. He brought out the talkative side in her.

"I've been at this... a long time. Every way it had ended the same. The same dialogue. The same actions. The same emotion. But I started noticing hitches. Things that were unfamiliar. Little hooks with bait. Grab onto one, ride the timeline for all its got, see what's different. Butterfly effect. But the hitches were never in the right place. They'd lead to new experiences, but nothing fruitful. This is the first where the ending changed. After I woke up, after our fight, it was unfamiliar territory."

Asriel closed his eyes in deep thought. Frisk could feel her phone vibrating in her pocket. Toriel sending texts. Some things truly never change.

“You started to do what I did. Frisk, you're starting to become a Flowey yourse-” Asriel immediately stopped himself and looked downward. “You should go. I'm just going to say something that'll make you hate me.”

Frisk stood back up, a fierce look on her face. “No. Asriel, I've been through all of this, countless times, to try to give you your life back. This wasn't out of boredom, or a powertrip. I want you to have the happy ending everyone else has.”

Asriel sighed. “Not everyone gets a happy ending.” He was gazing at the golden locked Frisk had around her neck.

“I… don't know what I can do for them. Maybe they want me to save you. That, I can do, at least.”

"If I try this... and it fails, will you reset?”

Frisk cracked a smile wide enough to rival Sans'.

"Pinky promise."

Frisk grabbed Asriel's hand, and brought him into a hug. A warm tingly feeling coursed through her body. She chalked it up to the feeling of victory.


	2. II

** 2  
Twin pairs of footprints permeated the flat surfaces of Snowdin Forest as Frisk and Asriel headed back to New Home. Asriel was apprehensive to leave the Ruins, even with Frisk's reassurance. The feeling of unfamiliarity coursed through Frisk. This was all new. She couldn't keep the calm, serene demeanor up. The sight of Asriel's parents, of Frisk's friends, hopefully it would give Asriel enough to care about to be able to beat this for good.

Or Alphys could come up with something. 

Frisk didn't know enough about how SOULs worked to suggest just giving Asriel one. Outside of Asriel's... 'species', monster souls disappeared immediately after death. Toriel or Asgore giving their souls was out of the question.

Human souls maintained consciousness after death, so they couldn't take one by force (Frisk squirmed at the thought) and Asriel would have to deal with a roommate for the rest of his life, regardless.

Determination had to be enough. Frisk glanced over as Asriel hanging his head dejectedly as they approached the riverperson.

"Don't worry. Everyone's getting ready to head up to the surface. Shouldn't see anyone until the throne room. Outside of them, that is."

Asriel let out a sigh. "It's not that, it-"

"Tra la la. Where shall we go today?"

Frisk responded with "Hotlands." while helping Asriel onto the boat.

"...20 gold for two passengers. The weight makes the trip harder."

Frisk nodded and tossed some coins into their hand.

"Tra la la. Hang onto your emotions."

**

Asriel and Frisk hopped off the boat into the dry heat of Hotlands, Asriel staring daggers into the hooded person as Frisk tried to rip him away.

"What's with that guy? How does he know?"

Frisk let out a sigh of her own and beckoned Asriel towards the steps. "Always spouting nonsense. What was bothering you before we got on the boat?"

"Butterflies in my stomach. Nervous about seeing Mom and Dad. They're going to see their child back from the dead and I don't know if I can stay this way and if they see what happens to me if I can't they'll be heartbroken all over again and-"

Frisk grabbed Asriel by the shoulders and shook him. "You aren't going to turn back. Determination. And I made a pinky promise." She worked the grip into a hug. 

Asriel returned the embrace. "If we keep doing this we'll never get to New Home."

"Considering what I'm delivering, they can wait until I get my hug demand filled. Mom's gonna steal the rest of them."

The two of them were locked in hugging formation for a few minutes, nothing but the ambient bubbling of lava echoing through the caves.

"We'll have to use Alphys as an excuse to break away from them at some point."

Frisk let go and smiled. They both moved up the steps towards the elevator. Frisk spun on her heel and started walking backwards. "You haven't even seen them yet and you're coming up with plans to get away from them?"

"N-no! Gosh, it's not like that, it's just... well, I'd like to get a scientist's opinion on your whole plan before I get too comfortable, you know?" 

"It's going to work" Frisk spun back forward and started taking two steps at a time. Asriel looked winded; it suddenly occurred to Frisk that this is the most activity he's probably seen in decades. Flowers probably don't get much exercise.

"How do you know that?" Asriel had an irritated look on his face again. They stepped into the elevator and Frisk punched in the level to the Core.

"That's how determination works. You use it to have something happen or not happen. Doubt is like... not-determination, so stop doing that."

They stepped off of the elevator and headed towards MTT Resort. "So just thinking 'I don't want to be a flower' hard enough stops it?" Asriel had that exhausted look on his face again. Frisk grabbed his hand and started walking side by side with him as they entered the Core and stepped into another elevator.

"I wouldn't think of it that way. 'I won't be a flower again', maybe." More button smashing, the hum of elevator machinations enveloping the conversation. "You tried to kill me and I just said 'no', remember?"

A red hue washed over Asriel's face. "S-sorry about that. I don't deserve this."

"Stop that! Everyone under this mountain has tried to kill me at some point. But we're all better now. We're all good now."

Some time passed drenched in silence. Frisk decided to let Asriel deal with his thoughts as they came up on the throne room.

Asriel stopped as his foot brushed against a golden flower. He looked up and saw the sea of flowers amidst the throne room. A wave of bitter nostalgia hit him in the stomach.

"Az... it's not far now, come on"

They stepped through the doorway and saw familiar shapes not far from them.

Frisk walked up to the group, with a newcomer behind her.

"H-howdy!" 

**

The next 30 minutes were bouts of profuse hugging and tears of joy that were enough to soften even Undyne's stoic attitude. Frisk couldn't bring herself to interrupt the impromptu celebration to talk to Alphys directly. This had to be enough, for now. They needed to see the sunrise unfettered by worries or doubt.

When Frisk was finally able to break the hugs to get them out into the surface, everything felt right. Everything lined back up the way it used to. But the missing piece of the vista had finally fallen into place.

"It looks... different than I remember."

Asriel had seen this before. He'd been through the barrier before. And because of him, the rest of Ebott could see the same things he did.

"I suppose it has been a while..."

**

Frisk had put some serious thought into Asgore's offer of being ambassador. A title more than anything else, considering Frisk's physical age. It could blossom into something more, something life-consuming. Frisk countered the offer with something she didn't think of before.

A rain-check. A perfectly understandable response, but one that gave freedom. For the first time in a very, very long time, Frisk was free of all worry, of all nagging thoughts. Everyone was happy, -everyone- this time, and that gave her the opportunity she never really had after all of this had started.

The chance to be a kid again.


	3. III

** 3  
A few years have passed since the barrier was broken. Monster "reintegration" into society was a bumpy road; monsters had been ruled as equal to humans since their emergence from Ebott, but humanity had struggled a bit with the sudden appearance of a new sentient race overnight. 

The re-addition of magic to the world was a boon that helped things significantly. Magic had been rendered unusable by humans after monsters were sealed off centuries ago; somehow the two were inexorably tied together. It faded into legend just like the monsters did, but with their return it opened up a niche only monsters could fill: teachers, instructors for magic use for anyone willing to learn. That, along with diplomatic talks with Ebott's governing body and eventually the world, monsters were able to establish themselves comfortably.

Frisk had just graduated high school. Asriel wanted to wait for her to begin college, but Frisk wasn't sure if that's what she wanted to do. The urge to adventure is what brought Frisk to all of this in the first place. What if there were other mountains, other monsters, other undergrounds to explore?

Asgore assured her that they were the only group that was sealed so many years ago, but Frisk can't imagine a world with knights and magic and kingdoms having the world-encompassing knowledge they possess today. It didn't help, being adopted into royalty. A snap of her fingers, and she'd be at any place in the world she wanted within some short hours. A trek across the world with no financial or career woes to worry about.

She thought of inviting Asriel to go. Travel the world, see things he would have never seen without her falling. He had devoted most of his teenage years to learning musical instruments. The traveling bard prince.

But it'd be selfish to ask him; he'd feel obligated to go. He'd sacrifice his college education without a second thought. Frisk hadn't thought of a better way to broach the subject.

Her phone snapped her out of her musings. Sans displayed on the caller ID.

"Hi Sans!"

"hey, kid. you busy?"

"Nah, just thinking to myself at the moment. What's up?"

"mind if i swing by? wanted to talk to about something, and you've been busy lately. school's out, so figured you'd be free."

Frisk hesitated for a split second.

"Sure! I'm the only one at the house right now s-"

A thin knock echoed through the hallway. Frisk jumped off of her bed and ran to answer.

"hey. said you were all abone so i figured i'd take a shortcut."

Frisk rolled her eyes and threw open the door. She motioned towards the dining room table and moved to make tea. "it's fine, frisk. brought my own." A ketchup bottle slipped from Sans' jacket pocket, hovering with a blue glow.

Frisk noticed Sans eyes were dark. She quickly took a seat and stared intently at him. "This is pretty obviously serious, so what's really up, Sans?"

"i wanted to talk timelines. you're an adult now so i guess i can be serious for once."

"I promised you when we left Ebott that I wasn't going to reset anymore!"

"the promise sounded practiced. rehearsed. you're a good kid, and i'm willing to accept you probably had to do a few tries to get this happy of an ending, but you still seem too confident. i just want to know if more resets are happening. or if they're ever going to happen again."

Frisk hesitated again. She hadn't reset since they left Ebott. But she still made a promise to someone... years ago. Sans deserved to know the truth, at least. Only Alphys, Asriel and Frisk knew what was keeping Asriel here.

"I haven't LOADed since the barrier broke. Don't even know if I could, now," Frisk started to act more relaxed. Sans was still like an uncle to her, and she couldn't take his threats seriously now that she was two feet taller than him. "and tibia honest, I don't like doing resets. Life kind of loses its flavor when you're living it more than once."

"frisk, please. no jokes. i'm serious."

Frisk let out a loud sigh. "I made a promise to Az. If he ever reverted back... to Flowey, I'd do a true reset. Back to the beginning. I'd give everyone but him a happy ending and let him be forgotten."

"...back to flowey? like he c-"

"Alphys and I have been working with him since we left Ebott. Trips back until she got a lab out here. Asriel still doesn't have a SOUL."

Sans put his hands into his sweater pockets and closed his eyesockets.

"He's... made entirely out of determination. Alphys resurrected Az years ago, on accident. But since he didn't have a SOUL, he was a consciousness without any emotions outside of primal rage. He was the cause of resets and timelines messing up before I got the power."

"this is a lot to take in."

"I'm sorry, I should have told everyone about this, but I didn't want to give Az cause to doubt himself. That's kind of against the whole thing keeping him alive."

"so how does it work then? is he just 'determined' to have emotions? i don't get why he suddenly stopped being flowey."

"Remember when the barrier disappeared? You guys saw a flash of white and then me unconscious?"

"vaguely. been a long time."

"As... Flowey took the 6 human SOULs Dad had and used them in conjunction with everyone's souls from the Underground to become a god."

"what."

Frisk got up and grabbed a soda from the fridge. This was the most she'd talked to Sans in a year, and it was about things she definitely did not want to talk about. Sans had one eye open, and was leaning back in his chair. His smile seemed smaller.

"Without a SOUL, Az couldn't feel any emotion. Having all of those emotions suddenly... kind of overloaded him. We fought for a bit, I pulled all of you out of him, and then tried to reason with him. He eventually calmed down and started being a crybaby, then used the SOULs he had to break the barrier before returning them."

"what happened to the human souls, then?"

A silence enveloped the dining room. 

"I... don't know. I assumed they dissipated. Nothing to return to, right?"

"or flowey could be playing the long con. get nice and comfy with little sis and company, then murder a guy and destroy the world."

"Az isn't like that, Sans! Flowey wasn't even that way."

"we're messing with things that could end the world, on the vague hope of saving someone who didn't want to be saved."

"I'd like to think you'd have a bit more faith in me than that."

Sans shut his eyes again and stood up, muttering a wimpy apology and started to head towards the door.

"No. We're not just going to let this lie. I could have killed everyone in the underground."

Sans froze.

"I didn't know how the world worked. I was just a child! It could have been entirely self defense. I risked my life to try to find a resolution where no one died, everyone was happy, and we all got out onto the surface. I'd like to think I have good judgment of character. I'd been through that... so many times. I thought I knew how everything worked."

Frisk put her head in her hands. Sans slowly walked back to his seat.

"frisk..."

"I've gone through years of my life to try to give everyone the best. I've seen how multiple scenarios play out. None of them are happy. Except this one. I have gone through Hell for this, Sans. I'm not going to end it for an oversight."

"F r i s k."

Frisk stopped. “No. Everyone's happy. I just couldn't settle for one person being left out.” She uncupped her head and gave frisk a weary look. “I'm selfish. I threw away everyone's future because I wasn't satisfied with the outcome.”

"don't put yourself down like that. you're a good person, kid. a little too good, but that can hardly be considered a bad thing. i trust you.”

Frisk noticed she was shaking. "I... uh... went a little far there, huh."

"you're not a baby bones anymore. never seen you hurt a fly. i pushed you a bit too hard, there. everyone has some kind of anger in them, and you had a pretty tight seal on that bottle."

"Thanks for having this talk. Helped both of us, I guess."

"can't believe you kept me for as long as you did. my break was over fifteen minutes ago."

Frisk smiled and gave Sans a hug. "Talk to me more often. Don't hear from my uncle much these days."

"will do. someone needs to keep you out of trouble now that you're out of school. i'd crack another pun but i don't think it'd be very humerus given the circumstances." 

"see ya later."

A look of realization exploded on Frisk's face. "That's awful."

That wink again. The door shut and Frisk could hear him taking his 'shortcut'.

What a productive morning.


	4. IV

** 4  
What a crappy morning.

Asriel fumbled with his keys against the ornate door to the house, cursing as a barrage of raindrops flew in sideways through the patio and added to the weight of his waterlogged hoodie. Cotton may not have been the best choice for today. Another curse flew as he set down his guitar case and worked the keys with both hands.

A wind assisted Asriel as he opened the door, proclaiming his arrival with a frame-shaking slam against the wall of the small house. He meekly stepped inside, guitar in hand. 

"H-heh. I'm home!"

Silence draped the house, aside from the assault of rain crashing on the metal shingles of the roof.

Asriel slid off his drenched hoodie and hung it by the door, sneaking into the living room. Frisk was laying on the couch. He waved his arms around a few times to see if she was sleeping (could never tell with her eyes) and was rewarded with her turning to side and lightly snoring. 

Satisfied that his entrance didn't get him a bleary eyed scowl, Asriel marched towards the bathroom to dry out. A curse, and a quick detour to the bedroom for clothes. His pants had suffered most of the weather without anything breaking through, but Asriel's upper body was wet enough to produce spongey noises when the fur was pressed. 'Back to the bathroom before I flood the house.'

Magic did the trick for getting most of the dampness out. A hot shower in Frisk's bathroom. He was too lazy to correct himself and go to the designated "goatroom", and the hot water did loads to help his chilly predicament. But Asriel wanted more. The cold still lined his body and he wasn't getting comfy until it was out. His eyes darted towards Frisk's hairdryer. 

Desperate times...

**

An eye cracked open.

Frisk heard the whirr of a hairdryer echoing through the house. Was Mom home? The report of rain broke through the ambiance. Frisk lazily dug around her sweater pockets for her phone. A couple of hours after Sans' chat. Mom and Dad shouldn't be home yet. That left only one person... and that person was manhandling her hairdryer.

Wet pawprints through the carpet confirmed her suspicions. A trail from their bedroom to the bathroom. Frisk could hear humming permeating the cacophony of sounds emanating from behind the door. As silent as she could, she twisted the doorknob and tried to sneak in.

And blew her cover the instant she saw the puffball at the sink.

"F-Frisk!?" 

There was a pile of sweater and kicking legs in the doorway, making a mixture of choking and giggling noises.

"Would it kill you to knock?! Maybe say 'howdy'?"

She found enough pause in the giggle fit to get back on her feet and unplug the hairdrier. Her gaze met Asriel once again, whose head was angled slightly due to chest fluff getting in the way. The embarrassment spread across his face gave him a nice pink hue.

She also caught the smell of strawberries.

"O-oh my God, did you use my shampoo?"

"I smelled like a wet dog, okay?"

Frisk reached over to the shower. The drain was clogged. Her shampoo and conditioner bottles were almost empty.

"Why didn't you use your guys shower? Now I have this shit in my drain and no shampoo and," her eyes met his fluffyness once more. "and... Mom is gonna kill me if you fully clogged this... and..."

"Frisk. No."

"But you used my shampoo! The least you could do is let me treat you like a giant strawberry-scented plush doll."

"I haven't practiced today. No one was at the rec center. Ten thousand hours, remember?"

"You can sit in my lap and play guitar, Az. Put me in fluffy heaven"

He rolled his eyes and reached for his shirt.

"That isn't going to fit."

"Shut up," he replied with venom in his voice. "It's fine, it'll just pat it all down and..."

Asriel's arms struggled against the shirt as his head barely fit through the neckhole.

"Az?"

"Shut up!"

"Here, let me help," Frisk was definitely shorter than Asriel but he begrudgingly tilted downwards to give her access to his self-imposed Chinese boss monster trap.

Asriel's head looked as red as the strawberries he smelled like.

"I won't tell Mom if you let me cuddle."

"T-that's blackmail!"

Frisk gave him a nefarious wink. "You're not really in the position to negotiate. And I have things I need to talk to you about."

**

Asriel hesitantly stared at the couch. He turned to look at Frisk with the most pleading eyes he could.

Frisk had already taken off her sweater and was rolling her shoulder.

"Undyne taught me how suplex. I will break this couch. Sit."

An eyeroll and a sigh that would shake a mountain.

He sat down in the middle of the couch and stared daggers into Frisk.

"You know... you kinda look like Dad. With, like, really tiny horns, and fluff instead of muscle."

"You're not helping your situation here"

Frisk made a zipping motion across her face and dove into Az's side. There was about an inch of fur before reaching his actual chest.

An image of Greater Dog zipped through her mind.

"Can we at least watch TV while you defile my pride?"

A confirming "hnnm" was muttered into his chest as she dug for the remote under the couch cushions. She found her prize and triumphantly drew it in the air like a sword. Az grabbed it and started surfing, draping one arm around Frisk as he burrowed herself into strawberry town.

"Ymfh mphing mm wmn ygpht"

"Mhm. If you fall asleep I'm leaving."

Frisk took a hand and wrapped it around his chest. She started tracing his opposite side with her index finger, where she knew he was most ticklish, to see if she'd get a reaction. Nothing but the sound of rain and scrolling TV channels. Couldn't win every battle. 

Well, if he was going to preoccupy himself, she would too. Frisk burrowed her head deeper into goat fluff and dug her arms into his sides. It was like a big, pre-heated fuzzy blanket. The repeated pattern of rain on the roof just made it all the more cozy.

For a moment, Frisk forgot about the world. This was it. There was nothing outside of strawberry scented boss monster and The Price is Right. The TV was more likely to put Asriel to sleep before Frisk.

This was worth the disgusting amount of shampoo he had wasted.

She was about to attempt a migration to neck fluff when Asriel shifted slightly and poked her shoulder with a clawed finger.

"What did you need to talk to me about, by the way?"

Frisk readjusted her head so she could actually be audible. Neck fluff was the most elusive of cuddles, and Az wanted to deny her. "Mmhn... don't really want to talk about it now, but, uhh. Do you want to postpone college for a year or so?"

He gave her that damn look of incredulousness again. "W-why?"

"Just thinking. Exploring the world, you know? We haven't really left this little corner of it since we came out of Ebott. And exploring... kind of is how I met you. And Mom and Dad. I'd think it'd be fun to see the sights, right?"

Asriel was gazing thoughtfully at the TV. "Think Mom and Dad would go for it?"

"Well, if they won't, I can think of one skeleton that could give us some shortcuts. But it's more about the journey than the destination. I'd like to get their blessing at least. And the money. We'd need money, I guess." Frisk was now staring up at the ceiling. "But you did already put college on hold so we could go together. I don't want to pressure you into anything you don't want to d-"

"I'll go. Sounds like fun!"

"Wow, that easy? Won't cuddle with me without threats but you'll drop life goals for a roadtrip?"

"Eh, college will always be there. Besides, someone has to keep you out of trouble. Can't go falling into another mountain, you might find another brother to harass"

Frisk put on the most wounded face she could muster. "A hundred years for you, Az. I coul-"

A pillow in the face cut off the monologue. "I'll get up."

This was her chance. Frisk pulled herself up into his chest and rested her head against his neck. It was like a memory foam mattress.

Asriel let out a small, timid bleat of disapproval before sighing a breath of surrender.

She settled into the cloud of caprine and flew off into dream land.

**

An eye cracked open.

Frisk systems check was running.

Face buried in a rolling plain of fur. Asriel was very lightly breathing, and a few cursory pats confirmed; she wasn't the only one who took a cuddle nap.

A cooking show was on the television. Frisk checked her phone. Shit. Mom would be home soon.

Ah, who cares. She was about to get the "I'm not going to college" bomb dropped on her, anyway.

She nudged Asriel with her elbow and waved her smartphone in his face. 

"Mom's home in 15 minutes."

"Goddamnit. I fell asleep?"

Frisk pinched one of his cheeks. “You can't pretend to hate this forever.”


	5. V

** 5  
The world has ended.

Snowdin. Frisk shouldn't be here. All of the buildings were lightless. The city had the feeling of emptiness and despair, not a cozy frost-bitten town. The snow strangled the sound out of anything nearby. Frisk heard ringing in her ears.

It was going to be one of those nights.

She gave a few feeble attempts of waking herself up before sighing and started moving through the city. An unknown force drew her towards the golden flowers. 

Frisk knew of the power RESET gave her. The ability to do anything without consequence. She had used it to give everyone a perfect ending. She could have taken it all from them. There was this feeling that she had to. Flowey- no, Asriel had seen every ending. He had caused scenes like this, once.

Despite her power, she could never bring herself to do it herself.She had killed people, of course. Mostly accidents. A few out of morbid curiosity. Taking a life, regardless of human or monster, had affected Frisk. But that urge, that seed that demanded wholesale slaughter, it never was sated.

It usually manifested itself in dreams, now. A temptation. 

You could go back, Frisk. You could go down the dark path. It would be a new tale. New things to be said. To be heard. 

She didn't hear me. Or she was ignoring me. No matter. We'd have a good discussion at the flowers.

Frisk remained unfazed as she stepped into the beam of sunlight. A wave of bitter nostalgia overran her. Life was much more... adventurous. Complicated. It wasn't just a few hours at school and lounging at home, putting off homework to do more interesting things.

A life I could never have. Not after what I did.

Asriel got his happy ending. Frisk got her happy ending. I wouldn't see mine.

Frisk turned. 

"I know you're there."

Greetings. So you know who I am.

Frisk gave a small laugh. "Asriel thought you were gone. He thought I was you. Although, judging by your current appearance, I think you took that 'similar fashion sense' a little too seriously."

Imitation is a form of flattery.

"Are you just going to sit there and think things at me or are we going to have an actual discussion, like you wanted?"

The cavern had the same muffled ambiance of Snowdin.

"Forgive me. It has been a while since I've used my 'words'."

Frisk flashed a look of smugness and crossed her arms. A blue sweater appeared over her shirt. That damned sweater.

"What? This is -my- dream. I'm cold."

"I appreciate what you've done for Az."

There we go. Some legitimate shock.

"I... well, I really ruined him, didn't I?"

Frisk averted her gaze to the flowers in the middle of the room.

"If you recognize your mistakes... you can change. No one is beyond redemption. But if you're expecting a new body and a place to crash, I'm not sure where to get started."

Partn-

"No. If you've learned anything from this you'd realize that's not the way to go."

"You're right, of course."

I sighed and sat down, staring at the flowers with her.

Frisk gazed back at me. "I meant it. Anyone can be redeemed. If you've been following me half as long as I think you have, you know that there are alternatives. There's good with the bad. You cared for monsters, once. Dad committed some pretty messed up shit."

He didn't have a choice.

"He did. It was a lesser of two evils kind of choice. You forced him into that. But he still had a choice. Six people died from that choice, and I didn't know those people. They could have been like me. They could have been like you, or anywhere in between." She hesitated. "Not that you're the epitome of evil, or anything."

"I appreciate the attempt. I wouldn't say you're the epitome of goodness, either. The sign said 'Please take one'."

A laugh broke through the stiffness in the air. The cave felt almost like itself again.

It felt good. A shame it had to end.

Frisk shuffled nervously in her spot. "So. I don't think you brought me into this just to tell me I've treated Azzy right. And I'm getting conflicted signals here. Suggesting mass murder along with being thankful for what I've done."

It was my turn to cross my arms. "I can't have a chat with my darling sister?"

Her face went beet red. It was adorable.

"I, uh, don't think that's what I'd call the relationship we have right now. Especially with the whole 'devil on the shoulder' act you've been giving me the past few years with these dreams."

"Well, I've accepted that I can't convince you to just reset. I wanted you to get comfortable before I brought our third member to this party." 

"No. No. If you care about him, you won't do this."

She was standing up now. Defiant. 

"You won't reset for me. Perhaps I can give you another reason to set the clock back. Something a little more permanent."

And in a burst of light there he was.

"W-what?"

Asriel turned to look at us. His eyes swept past Frisk and were directly on me.

"I was having such a nice dream too."

"Greetings, brother."

"This is what I get for having sugar before be-" Az had a sudden look of shock on his face. He started patting down his body and looking around frantically.

"This isn't your normal nightmares, Asriel. You're not going to turn, don't worry."

Frisk gave Asriel a weary smile and pointed towards a stone for him to sit on. "It's like a goddamn AA meeting for people with time-travel." She let loose a sigh and buried her head into the fur of her sweater hood.

Az snapped out of his locked gaze with me and stared back at Frisk. The wave of relief was animated across his face.

"S-so what's this about. then? Why is Chara here?"

"I know you think I'm not the best person, Asriel, but could you feign some surprise that your long-dead sibling is speaking to you?

Frisk raised an eyebrow.

"I've... had a lot of time to think about what we did, Chara. When I thought Frisk was you, I was overjoyed. You were back! Everything was going to be fun again."

...

"But.. I've had a while to think about things. What I did as Flowey was wrong. What we did as kids was wrong."

"I'm still a child, Asriel. I didn't get the leisure of growing up."

"That's no ones fault but yours. You wanted to get back at humanity so badly you ruined our family to do it."

"Asriel. The plan was to free monsters. We only needed six!"

"You wanted to kill them all." Asriel shifted slightly. An inky, malevolent maw and black eyes replaced his innocent green eyes and gentle features. "Kill or be killed, right?"

Frisk was suddenly upright as well. "Az. No."

"Bullshit. You can't pin this on me. You're right. You are still a child. You can't just have everything be forgiven because you're sorry. Because you saw someone do better. There isn't any honesty in those eyes. That empty smile. You're so full of shit!"

"Asriel. Don't let Chara rile you up. This is what they want."

Frisk was too smart for her own good. She knew what I was up to. I might need to remove her.

"If I could go back? If I could retain my memories, and reset to the day I found you, Chara, I'd do everything differently." He was standing now. A robe now draped down his frame.

This was good. Time to stoke the flames. "Isn't that delicious? The little monster prince has the power of hindsight!"

Frisk was attempting to shake Asriel out of his rage. 

"Sorry, sister. We're moving this to his head. You're going to snuff the fire."

**

Frisk woke up panting. Cold sweat covered her body. She sat up. "Az."

No response. He was normally a light sleeper.

"Asriel."

She reached over for the light. Asriel was levitating in bed.

This was not good. Not at all. Alphys. Phone. Now.

Asleep. God damnit.

She ran over to Asriel's bed and forced his levitating ass back into the bed. He wasn't going to wake up like this.

Sans?

She dialed.

"hey kiddo. little late for a prank call."

"Sans! I'm having Asriel problems. I need some help."

"well you two are technically siblin-"

"Alphys-grade problems. Not Flowey, but something probably worse. Can you wake her?"

"ah sheesh. ok, hold on."

Frisk realized she had been trying to slap Asriel awake while on the phone. His face was bright red through his fur. And his cheeks had black tattoos permeating the fur. No. This was the exact opposite of good. She pulled one of his eyelids open and saw black sclera.

A wooshing sound filled the room.

"H-hey! Sorry, Undyne was sleeping on my phone."

"He's turning, but not into Flowey." Alphys moved over to the side of the bed. "W-what is he turning into, then?"

Shit. None of them knew about the Hyperdeath fight.

"Let's just say it'd be a lot worse."

"Point t-taken." Alphys pulled out some tools and monitoring equipment. Asriel was getting harder to hold into his bed.

**

A battle was raging inside Asriel's head.

A literal battle. Chara got what they wanted. Stars and lasers littered the cavern. While Asriel attempted to obliterate Chara, the other opted to use nothing but mocking commentary.

"Isn't this adorable? Who knew that beneath that childlike innocence lay the greatest mage in the Underground?"

"Shut up."

"I wonder if you can control this when you wake up? Or if you'll lash out at your friends like the child you are!"

"Shut up!"

There was a voice prickling the back of Asriel's head. He couldn't focus on it. Not yet.

There was no facade of a person with total control. Asriel snarled as he threw a cacophony of spells at Chara, each narrowly missing their mark.

"Asriel. Stop."

Everything fell dead. That deafening muffled silence overtook the cavern.

"Frisk?"

Chara looked annoyed. "Come on, you dumb oaf. No one's here but you and me."

"Asriel. Snap out of it. Wake up."

"you really got frisk's goat, kid. wakey wakey. i can't be a lazy bones at three in the morning."

"A-Asriel, wake up! You're breaking all of my equipment!"

Asriel hovered in the air, talking to someone outside of Chara's sight or hearing. They can't break through already.

"You can't leave me, Asriel. You're the reason I'm dead!"

He turned sorrowful eyes towards Chara.

"I'm sorry, I can't play anymore. I need to go."

"No, you bastard! You don't get out of this that easily! I'll be back!"

"I know."

"You can't reverse this."

"I can try. Frisk taught me that."

The silence claimed the cave again. 

Asriel lowered his head. A tear smacked against stone.

"I'm sorry."

**

Asriel opened his eyes to a sore cheek and Frisk sitting cross-legged on his chest.

No one noticed the blush under the already present red from the smacks.

It got a shade darker when Asriel noticed the black marks all over the room.

"Ah jeez."

"You're awake, thank God."

Sans was looking disapprovingly at holes burned through his and Frisk's sweaters. 

"It was all just a bad dream." Frisk smiled at Az and started drumming on his snout. "Although... you might want to look at a mirror.'

Alphys tossed a piece of reflective metal (from a broken instrument, most likely) towards them and Asriel took it all in. Two black symmetrical lines ran down his cheeks. His eyes had shifted to a much lighter green, but the sclera had cleared back into a creamy white. His horns ere noticably darker. He would have checked for tattoos... elsewhere, but Frisk was still perched on top of him.

As if reading his mind, she hopped off and snickered. "You were doing the full blown Exorcist floating around the room shit. I didn't want you to hit the ceiling fan. Although it might have woken you up faster."

"What... was that, exactly? How did Ch-"

"Bad dream. We'll talk about it later. I need coffee." She slipped off her sweater and tossed it onto her bed. "Thanks for the help, guys. Was starting to panic there."

"no prob, frisk. i'll take alphys back home. call me if you need me again."

"S-same! I'll keep my phone in a safer place."

Sans grabbed her hand and unceremoniously blinked out of the room. Asriel had a brief glimmer of curiosity. Maybe he could do that now.

"Well, you're getting coffee and staying up with me, mister Hyperdeath. I'm not explaining to Mom and Dad your tattoos."

"They're still asleep?!"

"Yep. Remember that sound dampening spell you taught me?" Frisk beamed triumphantly. "A bit harder to block out explosions than bits of guitar, but that combined with them being super heavy sleepers helped."

Asriel was standing out of bed now. The image of his mage persona sitting in Santa pajamas will forever be burned into Frisk's mind, for better or worse. "Am I safe to just... carry on? I lost it in there, a bit."

"Yeah, well, keep it. We can talk later, but you seem lucid enough now. Don't let the little bully get to you. Chara is pretty obviously powerless aside from messing with our dreams." Frisk ruffled Asriel's hair and grabbed another one of Sans' sweaters out of the closet. "I'll go grab the coffee. You're in charge of breakfast. No burning the house down with rainbows."

Asriel let out a defeated sigh. Chara had a purpose for this. It itched the back of his mind, but he couldn’t figure out what would come of it.


	6. VI

** 6  
The nightmares didn't stop.

Each night, a new stage. A new way of torturing Asriel. Chara inevitably kicked Frisk out. She wouldn't even know when they were happening until the light show started. 

Hiding it from Mom and Dad wasn't really an option at this point. Chara eventually let up, changing from nightly visits to weekly, before adopting a completely sporadic schedule that was arguably worse. The constant state of paranoia, if tonight would be the night Asriel would enter a new hell.

Every time Asriel was pushed, he gained more of his Hyperdeath appearance. He didn't have the personality, yet, at least, but he was always tired. Enough sleep to keep functioning, but never to actually sleep.

It was mindwracking. There didn't seem to be an objective to it. Chara was hoping to either push Asriel into full God of Death mode or something else.

The concept of Asriel slipping back into Flowey almost seemed alien.

Alphys couldn't figure out how Chara was still "there". It was its own entity, without any clear evidence of SOUL. But it didn't seem like it was a being like Flowey, either. Unless Chara was extremely good at acting.

Frisk was fast asleep on Asriel's chest, passed out after trying to keep him from flying into the ceiling fan again.

Az poked her on the shoulder a few times in a feeble attempt to wake her. All he got was a very vocal stretch. Frisk dove her head back into his neck fluff. 

A weary smile broke his muzzle's jagged lines of teeth. The black sclera had come back, along with his horns jutting out much more angularly than they used to. Mom had made him a robe to make him feel better about the whole situation (A request from Frisk, he was sure) but he still opted for the sweater and jeans combo that Frisk wore.

Despite their remote home and he general disinterest of the fame of being royalty, they still had to deal with Asriel suddenly looking like a Hot Topic mannequin. The current story was too much magic. Not a lie, but not a truth. Human wizards weren't prevalent or powerful enough to refute the claim that you could be stained by magic, and Asriel was already the strongest magic user in the monster population as is, so they didn't question it.

Asriel was absentmindedly scritching Frisk's hair as he stared up at the fan. She was worried too much. They all were. Chara wasn't going to make him into some murdering demon. That road had already been passed. He almost thought Chara was attempting to help him, in their own twisted way. In the moment, Asriel would be suffering torrents of emotion, unable to think straight. But outside, aside from a blanket of weariness making him apathetic to most of the waking world, most of his concerns were gone. Flowey was almost an afterthought, a worry from a lifetime ago.

A sour thought rose in his head. That this comfort is what they wanted. So they could take it all away. Just as they did years ago.

Asriel quelled it. Frisk had stopped him from destroying the world. After everything he had done, he was forgiven, and changed. Chara hadn't done those things. Sure, they were disturbed, they killed themselves to try to make their family happy, and they wanted to slaughter a village of innocents. But intent and execution were two different things. Asriel went along with it. Maybe there was still some semblance of... well, not a good person, but an -okay- person deep down.

Frisk broke him out of his torrent of thoughts with a snootle boop. "Az, you're thinking so hard your head feels hot. What's up? Worse dream than usual?" Asriel rolled his eyes and tried to grunt and get up, but Frisk wasn't going to play that game. "You can't go get coffee until you talk," She leaned an elbow into his sternum, "and you're not going back to sleep."

A sigh that could move mountains echoed through the room. "You're going to think I'm an idiot." Frisk gave her own eye roll and eased off his chest. "Okay, fine. I think Chara is trying to help."

Her face contorted into a mix of disgust and laughter. "Wow, okay, you're right, you are an idiot." Asriel buried his head under his pillow. "But you're an idiot who usually has a good read on people. What makes you think that?"

Asriel shifted his pillow off of his snout and hesitated. "I... I'm not sure. But these episodes, these nightmares, they're having an effect on me, mentally. Not negatively," he quickly added as Frisk gave him a look, "but, like, I don't really think about Flowey anymore. It's there, but it's not something I fear, or really ever pay thought to. I don't have that fear looming over me that I'm going to regress back."

Frisk really couldn't say anything. Anything she said could be taken the wrong way and made worse. These were years she didn't want to lose to a reset.

"Frisk. Do you know how Chara is still here?"

Something she could actually discuss meaningfully. "Not entirely. Alphys had a few ideas. Determination popped up a few times." Frisk was sliding off of the bed, convinced she had Asriel's full attention. "Chara's SOUL died with you all those years ago. I don't even know if resetting is possible once you've handed yourself over to a monster."

Asriel was itching his chin thoughtfully. Finally put a shirt on. "But... don't humans believe there's something past the SOUL? Ghost movies, and the like. Maybe something like that stayed? Dormant, until you landed in the underground, for whatever reason."

Frisk frowned. "Like if how you die and reset... your soul breaks, but you still have a consciousness. I haven't really thought about that," She closed her eyes for a moment. "And I really don't want to test that in detail with Alphys." 

Asriel was spread across his bed again. "Maybe the reason Chara can talk to me is because technically I've crossed that barrier between life and death. I've been dead. I came back."

"Doesn't explain me, then, Az."

He was back up. This is the most energetic Frisk has seen him in weeks. "Maybe that's why you're not a part of the nightmares, anymore. It's counterproductive to keep you in the real world if Chara wants to keep me in dreamland for extended periods of time. Whatever power they had to bring you in to begin with might have waned."

Frisk dropped down on the opposing bed. "Okay. So you think Chara is trying to keep you so emotionally charged you'll never go back to... uh, 'bad time'. Why not tell you? Drop a hint? How is that something that would even work? Why would they wait until after literal years of happiness to try to 'fix' you? You look like a KISS member," Asriel gained a very puzzled expression, and Frisk internally groaned at the reference. "and I don't think their endgame was 'Make Asriel A Cool Bomb Ass Magician'."

"I mean, I am a cool bomb ass magician."

"God, you're such a nerd." A pillow flew through the room. "But you're my nerd. My big dumb goat nerd. We can go talk to Alphys about spirit stuff later, I guess. Papyrus wanted to talk to me about something too, we can go take out both visits at once."

Asriel was positively bouncy. Like before the dreams occurred. Frisk couldn't tell if the relief was a good or bad thing, but at the moment she didn't care.

"Lets go get that coffee."


	7. VII

** 7  
"H-hey! Come in!" 

Alphys' new lab on the surface put her old one to shame. Stellar white walls. Dark marble flooring. It always felt sterile to Frisk, as if visiting a hospital. The only signs of life were the sounds of Japanese dialogue echoing from another room and a messy paper-laden desk near the center of the main room.

"W-wasn't expecting company today. Undyne went to the gym so I was just watching anime. Not that I don't watch it with her around, it's just sometimes I like watching it myself or maybe it's something she's not into or-" Alphys was darting around the room. Frisk probably should have called first. "D-drinks! Do you guys want drinks?"

"I got coffee with Az. Don't worry about it. But we kinda need to have a chat." Asriel cautiously followed behind Frisk, taking swigs of his drink and eyes moving almost as fast as Alphys. Frisk grabbed a couple of chairs and moved them near Alphys' desk, and she took a seat with Asriel.

"Chat? D-did something happen?" Frisk quickly raised a hand to keep Asriel from issuing rebuttal. He'd gotten mostly over her responsibility for his 'rebirth', but the tinge of venom in his eyes very plainly stated that not all was forgiven. And the coffee hadn't kicked in yet. 

"Well, uh, Asriel thinks he has a SOUL."

Alphys' face went blank.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. But could we check it, maybe? You still have that monitor thing from those experiments, right?" 

Alphys nodded and got up to grab it. Her voice started echoing through the lab, rambling on about different theories that Asriel and Frisk had already gone through on their own. Asriel shifted uncomfortably in his seat until Frisk grabbed his shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile.

The brief serenity was smashed by the sound of metal clashing with metal, and Alphys swung back around the corner with a gurney, and a massive monitoring machine on the side of it.

Frisk felt Asriel's muscles tense. "Frisk, on second thought, I don't think I have a SOUL anymore. Let's go see Papyru-" Frisk put all the strength she could on keeping him seated. Asriel turned and saw that blank, closed eyes, neutral mouth expression. He couldn't decide which was more terrifying. 

"I paid for the coffee. You're not getting out of this. Especially after you started it." Asriel emitted a high pitched whine and gazed upward before leaning back in his chair. "The world's most powerful wizard. The Prince of Monsters. Afraid of a glorified heart monitor."

Asriel flipped Frisk the bird and turned towards Alphys. "What do you need me to do?"

"W-w-well, uhm... The sweater needs to go. Probably the shirt too."

"What?"

"T-this tech is extremely sensitive, and I don't know what exactly I'm looking for inside of a SOULless monster. J-just want to make sure, is all!" Alphys had a deep red hue on her face. "After that, h-hop on this and I'll... Frisk will hook you up."

Frisk didn't even attempt to hide the amusement this was bringing her. Asriel returned the gesture with two middle fingers. Coffee still hadn't kicked in.

"Wow. Golly, Az. You never give me the twin birds! I'm going to have to write this in my diary when I get home!" Asriel did his best to try to ignore her and hopped on the surface. Frisk calmed herself enough to strap cables and monitors onto Asriel without snickering (for the most part), and Alphys switched on the machine and ran over to her computer.

As clicks and keyboard clacks echoed through the lab, along with the ambient hum of the monitoring equipment, Frisk closed her eyes and waited. Asriel followed suit.

About ten minutes passed before Alphys unburied herself from her monitor. "Uh..."

Frisk popped one eye open. "What is it?"

"He has a SOUL."

**

"So, see here? T-this is your SOUL. B-but it isn't like normal monster SOULs, or boss monster SOULs. It has this weird red line through it."

Frisk was intently staring at all of the papers Alphys had printed out. Asriel was bouncing in his seat from excitedness. 

She didn't want to celebrate until she knew exactly what was going on. "Any idea on what the red line is?"

Alphys handed her another sheet of paper. It had some numbers and graphs that were beyond Frisk. "To uh, well, p-put it bluntly, it's a human SOUL. A sliver of one."

Asriel and Frisk locked up at the same time.

"It's- well, not Frisk's. Not as far as I can tell."

"Chara." Asriel muttered.

The energy was sapped out of Asriel so suddenly it was like a lightswitch was flicked. He almost looked like he passed out.

Shit. No. Shit. Not now.

Frisk was about to say something to Alphys when the room went dark.

**

It was a gorgeous view. A plain of golden flowers, pockmarked with rolling hills. The light of a dying sun painted the area in an amber hue, A soft breeze pushing the flowers against my grass-stained jeans.

Just like the day it ended. Breathe in, breathe out. Don't get to do that much, any more.

Won't for much longer, either. 

The bodies were in place. All I had to do was wait for them to join the fun.

Close your eyes. In. Out. You need to keep yourself stable. 

Rustling. Eyes open. They're here.

"Greetings."

Frisk was the first one to turn around. Observant eyes. Asriel soon joined her.

Could have been us.

"It took... a lot of energy to do this, so I don't have much longer. As the good doctor has informed you, Asriel has a SOUL, now. My SOUL."

"What's left of it, anyway. But even that sliver wouldn't be possible without you, Frisk."

"I think I owe the two of you some form of an apology. I suppose the gift to Asriel will have to do, but I also think I need to explain myself."

Frisk tensed up. Despite her pacifistic nature, she was a fighter. The steely gaze. I'd say determination, but that sounds a bit too coy.

"Where to start? My memories of pre-Ebott are hazy at best, after all of this nonsense the past few months. Suffice it to say I was not a happy child. I suspect Frisk knows what I dealt with. Children do not jump into holes out of pure curiosity."

Asriel took a step forward. He also carried that look. Must have been infectious. He always did like to take after others.

The way they could seem like they stood together, even being feet apart. Jealousy.

In. Out.

"You were not a very good partner, if I'm honest. Pretty wishy-washy, when you began. Hurt a few people. That sustained my SOUL. You nurtured it back to enough health that I could be fully conscious again."

You killed. More than I did. You were a fighter. You just had restraint.

Restraint. So does Asriel.

Restraint. Restraint gets people killed.

"It was with those steps that I realized I could become whole again. A person. No longer a ghost treading on the edges of reality. I tried to influence you to do more. A base desire to live, I saw the light at the end of my tunnel. But you refused."

Asriel. My darling brother. I loathe you for what you put us through. But I also loathe myself for being such a child. For thinking we had the same minds. 

Monsters are too pure for this world. 

Frisk is one in a million. He knew how to pick 'em. But even under that serene shell burned a fighting spirit. 

In. Out.

There was a difference, between them. Pacifism got Asriel killed. Me, killed. Pacifism got Frisk the happy ending. The ending I wanted.

It hurts.

"I realize now that it wasn't meant to be. I signed myself off when I ate those buttercups. Anything after was a child's fantasy. The suicide itself was a child's fantasy."

I don't feel like I'm saying these words. They're spilling out.

The ramblings of a madman on Death's door. That's what this is.

Frisk. So tense. I could let you lash out. Let Asriel see that humanity has that devil calling inside of all of them. The voice of the void.

That wouldn't benefit him. I'm doing this for him. I'd kill you, if I could.

"I would have blamed Asriel for our true deaths. I did, for a really long time. But children. They have such large egos, don't they? Unable to understand that anyone would think differently than them. A couple of years and I might have recognized what I had. A true, loving family. A blessed brother. We could have made the underground work. Who knows?"

In. Out. 

Something tugged. Like my name is being called. That I went too far away from home, and I'm being called back. It's on the edge of my hearing.

"Well. I said I had a time limit and you two let me monologue. Haha.

"Anyway. The point of this is that Frisk, well, saved me. Not in the manner you did, Azzy, but I'm no longer the vengeance-driven child I was. It's redemption, instead of saving, I suppose."

I want to be saved. I want to live with him again. 

Wants. I wanted to kill them all. I wanted to break the barrier.

"Frisk woke me up. My spirit. Whatever this is, clung to her. I can't say why it didn't trigger for the other children."

Why didn't it? Someone weaker. Someone that could have restored me. Someone stronger. Someone who could have gone all the way. A partner.

"You were Asriel's first human. I know that much. A special bond. You were the variable."

"I hitched a ride, so to speak. You have quite the SOUL, Frisk. Could sustain yourself, and me. Asriel called you by my name."

Like it should have been.

In.

"You killed."

Out.

"You saved."

Why not me? Why only him?

We're siblings.

"At first I thought it was stupid. My sentiments echoed Flowey's. There were people that didn't deserve happiness. Didn't deserve to be saved. But the resets, that drive to save that last person, well...it was eye-opening. I heard about your plan, all those years ago, the final conclusion to save him. It wouldn't work, of course, but I had something that could."

"I gave what was left of my soul to Asriel. There wasn't anything to latch onto with Flowey, but the residual energies of everyone's SOULs inside of him allowed me to find a foothold. The transfer temporarily turned be back into that dark, base, hateful creature again, and the memories didn't begin to resurface until my, erm, visits."

The visits of a ghost, an echo. Ringing in a world that it has left.

Asriel was crying. Don't do that. Big kids don't cry.

Damnit. Don't cry. You're a big kid. Be strong for your brother.

"I'm sorry, Asriel."

In. Out. In. Out.

"I apologize for what I've put you through- both of you."

Out.

I was hugging Asriel. My name was being called. I'm coming.

"I was such a stubborn child. I couldn't see the happy family in front of me. If it wasn't for me, we could still be together."

Out.

Asriel was hugging back. In.

"If you hadn't done what you did, the barrier wouldn't have fallen. Frisk would have never shown up."

Out. He's moved on. You need to, too.

Frisk.

"Frisk."

"You were a far better partner than I ever deserved."

She hugged me. 

In. Out.

"Take care of him, for me?"

She nodded.

"Thank you. For everything."

She nodded.

Out.

**


End file.
